Stories

I don't think it's unheard of, or even uncommon, to accidentally walk in on your parents fucking at some point in your life. I wish my first and only experience catching my parents on the job was as straightforward as a fraught moment of unified shock, inevitably followed by the single most awkward sit-down talk with Dad you will ever endure. Unfortunately, I wasn't graced with such a privilege.

It was my first year working abroad at a summer camp for overly privileged kids in the United States, just a few hours’ drive outside of New York City. What an outstanding fucking summer that was - scorching weather, excessive quantities of booze, an ample miscellany of drugs, and relentless sexual depravity. It was truly glorious.

I guess we should begin with the aptly named man himself, Shifty. What a problematic little fuck he was. Shifty was that utterly reckless, unpredictable maniac of a friend who would do just about anything you dared him to. No matter how moronically dangerous or grossly unethical it was, you could always count on Shifty to promptly ramp that shit up to eleven. That, in the briefest of nutshells, was how he quickly became known as “Shifty”.